Sunday, January 8, 2017

How come we can't ask questions?...

Being single in your 40's is difficult.  But dating in your 40's is way worse.  I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. We've already talked about the different types on men out there.  Here's a few questions that should be asked on the first or second date, but women might be afraid to ask a man.
1. Are you single? This question is a no-brainer, I know.  But you'd be surprised at how many women assume that when a man shows interest in her or even asks her out, that he's single.  Because why on Earth would a man who's in a relationship ask another woman out on a date? Insert the eye rolling emoji here.  Right.  Ok so, back to the question.  Asking if a man is single is your right and if any man gets upset with you asking him this question, must have something they're hiding.  These 3 words can change your life in either a positive way or a negative way.  Worst case scenario is if you don't ask a man this question, you'll find out later that he's either in a relationship, or worse...married. 

2. What are your views on marriage? This question right here will send a man running for the hills.  When single men hear the word marriage before they actually bring it up in a conversation, they take off like a flight at Pittsburgh International Airport.  But this is an important conversation topic to have.  How many women have dated a man for a significant period of time and then find out, after you get all caught up in feelings, that marriage isn't something he's looking for?  I was watching an episode of Being Mary Jane and she was dating a man who, as she found out later, that wasn't interested in marriage or children. Although they never had the conversation until AFTER she was emotionally invested in this man, his intentions were never to marry her, but to conform her beliefs on marriage and children.  Insert eye rolling emoji here again. At the end of the day, all a single woman wants to know is if she's wasting her time by dating a man who has no intentions on marrying her.  And here's some advice ladies...if a man tells you that he doesn't want to get married, believe him.  Stop thinking that you're going to change his mind, because you won't. 

3. Why are you single? Now asking a man this question is a bit hypocritical, but it's another question that needs to be asked.  It's hypocritical because, I don't know about you all, but I'm tired of people asking me why I'm single (not dating seriously) or why I never got married. And here I am, wanting to know why a man in his 40's isn't married.  Now I can't speak for everyone, but from my personal experience, a man in his 40's is single for a reason. And that reason is far different from the reasons why a woman in her 40's is single. But I'll leave this [statement] here for another time. 

I'm sure there are a lot more questions that should be asked, but after talking with some friends, we determined that these few questions are the most important to ask while dating in your 40's.  Some questions that we came up with were How old is your youngest child? How's the relationship with your ex wife or the mother of your children? How long was your last relationship? etc., etc.  All of these questions have a reason to be asked, but again, I'll save this for another time ;-)