Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Guys to stay away from

I apologize for not posting sooner.  It's graduation season and I have had cake orders out the wha-zoo! I'm not complaining! I'm thanking God for the blessing of my business.

So, it's been a while since I've written anything.  Usually when I write, of course I have to be inspired by something.  Last week I was cleaning out my son's room because we were having new furniture delivered and I came across some old cell phones.  In today's day and age, old cell phones are like old songs that you hear on the radio or TV.  When you hear an old song played, it will automatically take you back to where you were when that song came out.  I was watching the BET Awards last week and the segment with TROOP, Sylk, and Color Me Badd took me right back to my last year of high school and my first year of college at IUP.  Shout out to my cousin Devon's (aka Mingo) best friends, TROOP.  I'll be needing your guys to come sing at my wedding...if i ever have one lol. (Six degrees of separation again)

So back to the cell phones.  I looked at some of my old phones and I could remember who i was dating when I had that particular phone.  I tossed them all right in the garbage.  Sort of a symbolic gesture, i guess.  Throwing out the garbage in my life.  But those old cell phones serve as this latest blog topic....  Guys to stay away from in the dating world.

This is obvious and should go without saying, but stay away from the 2-timer.  If you caught "your man" messing around and didn't check his ass about it, you're setting yourself up to be the victim of a 2-timing man.  Especially if he knows that you know.  It's like giving him a free pass to cheat.  There's a saying that I like to mention often...People will only go as far as you let them go on you.  If you let him go too far too many times, it's a wrap for you and that relationship.  And because there was no checking of the cheater happening, more than likely your 2-timer is going to be your 3, 4, 5 or more-timer. Bounce out now.

Then there's the jealous or "i'm in competition with you" guy.  His jealousy can easily be mistaken for him "caring" about you.  But beware! If he's jealous of his own mama, then he's going to be way more jealous of you!  If he can't stand his baby mama, chances are he's going to end up hating you too.  I dated a guy like this before.  He always felt "some kind of way" when I wanted to talk about my accomplishments at work or in my personal life.  He always found some kind of way to downplay whatever good I was going on in my life.  He was in a perpetual state of muck and mire and his goal was to bring me down to his level of constant wallowing. This guy wants you to give give give while he takes takes takes! It doesn't matter who has what in the relationship, as long as both parties are equally invested in the success of the relationship. He's mentally draining and it's easy to find yourself so stressed out that you want a cigarette and a Pepsi to calm your nerves and you don't even smoke or drink soda. This guy will take you so far out of your emotions that you'll get to the point where if you saw him on a dark road during the worst blizzard of the year with no coat and shoes on...you'd ride right past his ass and think nothing of it.  Save yourself from having to do some repentance and just bounce out now.

The Control Freak can easily be confused with a man who's so in touch with you and cares so much about you that's it's unreal! And guess what?..it is! The Control Freak is that guy that knows what outfit you were wearing when you went to Pittsburgh with your girls the night before.  Even though he didn't see you BEFORE you left your house or AFTER you came home.  He knows everything about you, although though you've haven't disclosed much information to him. He's that guy who will have his boys out watching you because he's somewhere with his side chick doing dirt.  He's also that guy who does a heck of a lot of "parkin lot pimpin" outside the VFW or Razzcal's trying to see what you're up to. The Control Freak will want you to think that you're the one doing wrong in the relationship, when really it's him.  He's a smart dude, but the Control Freak also is a weak ass bitch.  He wants to control you because he can't control anything else in his life.  I dated a Control Freak before (of course I did! lol) and it was the absolute worse relationship that I had ever been in my entire life.  It's easy to get sucked in by this guy because you can EASILY mistake his controlling for caring.  And once you realize what a nut case this guy is, you're usually in way too deep.  The best way to handle a Control Freak is to turn the tables on him and call him out on his own inconsistencies, low self esteem, bitchassness, or whatever. And then ...yup...Bounce out!

And finally there's the guy who's just a little too in touch with his feminine side.  If you're dating a guy and he actually WANTS to go to the mall with you EVERY time you go, then this is a red flag.  Especially if he goes into the stores that you go in to.  If your man goes to the mall with you and hangs out in Foot Locker, Champs, or the Apple Store, then he's ok.  But when this guy insists on going into Nordstrom's shoe department with you to help you pick out shoes, then you might wanna re-categorize him to the "i'm not sure if he wants a man or a woman" category.  These guys are hard to spot at first because they come of as masculine and their conversation is of a heterosexual lingo.  But give it some time and his daisies will start to show.  A friend of mine had a guy call her to tell her that he had seen a really pretty nail polish that "would look so good on her fingers"...wtf?? And she thought that was a compliment.  I tried to explain to her the red flags that popped up in that statement but she wasn't trying to hear it. I got 8 sisters and I don't need a man to go shoe shopping with me.  Just gimme my money and I'll show what I bought when i get back home ;-)  But seriously, if you happen to encounter this guy in the dating world...yup...Bounce out! 

I'm sure there are more "guys to stay away from" that can be listed but these are just a few I wanted to mention and laugh about.  

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