Thursday, August 7, 2014

When to say "I don't"

The other day I had to let someone down "easy". I was talking to an old boyfriend and he asked me if I ever still thought about him? I told him hell no, I don't think about him.  What's there for me to think about? How he just bought a new house with all brand new furniture that's he's probably going to move his girlfriend into? Or how she get the "benefits" of being the woman in his life and not the side chick.  I went to say that I'm a good woman, a good mother, I'm educated, I own my own home and business, and pay my own bills. Yeah...basically I'm an ADULT.  But back to what I was saying.  And because I'm ALL of the above, he has some nerve even coming at me like that.  The nerve of some men! To think that I'm putting myself out there like that to be ANYBODY'S side woman, sex partner, or whatever men are looking for these days.  How dare he insult me like that??  The conversation ended with him saying, Let me call you right back. ...I never heard from him LOL I have to be honest and admit that I did think of him every once in a while, but he'll never know that! But I also had to tell him the real truth of the situation.  

There is another guy I went out with this year who kind of falls into the same category.  He lives in another state and comes in the area from time to time to see his family.  He was in town a few months ago and we went out.  After he returned home, I noticed that, although he did a lot of talking of "us" while he was HERE, he never said much about "us" while he was THERE.  For example, he never invited me to visit.  He never even talked about me visiting.  And then he said those words..."Let's just see how things go".  I'm not stupid.  I know exactly what those words mean when they come from a man.  Needless to say, I never once tried to contact him again, nor did I accept any of his calls, texts, emails.

Now it may seem that I'm quick to kick a dude to the curb.  Actually, I'm not.  But what I am quick to do is see right through bullshit lines that most men spew.  It's a gift lol  Another incident happened at Sheetz last week.  There were a group of men down there in what looked like fireman uniforms.  So i asked them were they firemen? Turns out they work in Marcellus shale industry and were in town on a job.  So he asks me, what i was doing later that evening? Long story short, we ended up talking for a while.  So I asked him if he was involved with anyone.  Ladies it's important to remember to ask a man if there's anyone else in his life.  This way you know from the rip what his intentions are.  So his answer was...and make sure you're sitting down for this...I'm not seeing anyone but I live with my kids' mother. WTF?? I walked away and left him standing there LOL  Like for real...who does he think that's going to go over on? 

I was telling a friend of mine and she said to me, Apparently, these guys don't know who you are! And then I realized that she was 100% correct! So my question for all you men who's intentions were/is/are to take me as a joke is, "DO YOU KNOW WHO THE HELL I AM??" As a matter of fact, there are a lot of men who don't know who the hell a lot of women are.  If they did, they wouldn't act like 40+ year old babies.  And yes, there are a lot of women who are just as guilty as men are in this situation, but I'm not talking about them right now lol.  I could write an entire series on women, and i might get around to it one, but right now we're talking about the guys. I will say this though, there are a lot of really great guys out there and sometimes they fly over our radar.  Shoot us, ok? Things happen sometimes lol.

So when do we learn to say "I don't", instead of "I do"?  This is not in a matrimonial type of question, but a relationship question.  There comes a time in life when a person just has to say I don't.  I don't like a certain situation.  I don't like how this person is making me feel.  I don't like where this relationship is heading.  Yadda yadda yadda.  It's ok to say "I don't" to  situation in your life.  Instead of staying in a situation where you're unhappy or being used or abused, it's ok to chuck up those deuces and handle your business.  I'm a true believer that God didn't put on this planet to be miserable in relationships. He put us on this planet to be loved. And if being loved means that you have to say "I don't" to some things, then by all means, go for it! Just be sure to say "I do" when the time is right ;-)