Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Make a Wish



I'm a member of a lot of Facebook groups. So many, that I can barely keep up with them really.  Earlier this week, one of the moderators of a group that I'm a member of posted this picture (see above) and asked for comments.  I responded one day.  Then about 2 days later, I responded again. My first response was to wish for a good score on the LSAT test.  I was in the library studying when I posted that response lol.  A couple days ago, I responded that I wished for a husband.  My response was: "Today...I wish for a husband. Not anyone else's husband. One for me and me only. A good hearted man with a sense of humor means to support us (family), and he HAS to be taller than me! (lol)" I was just writing what was on my mind at that very moment.  I had no idea that my words would be so appreciated by the other members of the group.  The responses after my response were such uplifting and supporting.  Some were thanking me for being able to be so open and honest.  In all actuality, I was sitting there with my checkbook trying to figure out who's getting paid and who's not.  That's a ritual that I engage in every other Thursday (the day before payday).  Yay me…
When I was a child, I used to make wishes all kinds of stuff.  Falling stars (if you ever saw one), kissing my food up to God if it fell on the floor lol are just a couple.   But that day, I had to be brutally honest with myself.  Over the years, I always said that I didn’t really want to be married.  It was never something that meant a lot to me.  I was perfectly happy dating and having my fun.  But as I got older and closer to God, I realized that a husband is what I need in my life.  The Bible validates the ideology of marriage and family.  It’s about time that I start to take head to those teachings. 
When I mentioned this, I was surprised to find out that there were A LOT of ladies in our FB group that felt the same way. I was just writing what was on my mind at that very moment.  I had no idea that my words would be so appreciated by the other members of the group.  The responses after my response were such uplifting and supporting.  Some were thanking me for being able to be so open and honest.  In all actuality, I was sitting there with my checkbook trying to figure out who's getting paid and who's not.  As a single mother, it’s difficult to cover everything. Yes the bills are getting paid, but what happens when an unexpected expense pops up? Where’s that $600 to fix the brakes on the car going to come from?  There’s no one there to cover the other expenses if an emergency comes up. I could go on, but I think my point is made here.
I remember reading about Rosa Parks and how she became one of the catalysts for the Civil Rights Movement back in the 1960’s.  Among all the acclimates and such, when asked why she did what she did, Mrs. Parks simply replied that she was tired.  She was tired.  She sat down because she was tired.  Who knew that simple thing would spark a national movement and make such a significant mark on history?
People say that big things come from little thoughts. All I was doing was sitting here the other day, looking at my checkbook, trying to figure out who's getting paid this week and who's not. That’s it.  Nothing else.  I was thinking about those 2 disciples Peter and Paul.  How one was going to be robbed in order to pay the other lol.  I wasn’t thinking how my response would motivate and uplift strangers, but’s exactly what happened.  I went back to FB the next day and noticed that I had a lot of mentions and most of them were from the members of the group.  I was a real eye opening experience to say the least.
Now don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not looking for someone to be a financial support.  Me and my checkbook was just the catalyst for my feelings. But if you can’t fund this operation, you need not apply. I can do bad all by myself.  In reality, it would be nice to have someone to do things with or just to be able to consult on things with someone.  Most people don’t know how mentally exhausting it is to have to make EVERY household decision for yourself.  I would love to say to some of these AAU coaches (for example) “Let’s see what my husband, or his father, has to say”.  It would be so nice to be on a road trip and not have to drive all the way there AND back! It would be nice to have someone to be a wife to.
When I wrote what I wrote, I didn't think I’d open up doors for other people to confess their truths. I was only thinking that I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of being bored on weekends. I’m just tired! But I’m glad that I said what I said because I now know that others feel like I do. I need help. My child needs a father. I need a mate/companion (husband). Although there was a plethora of things that started to run through my mind at that time, the most important thing was that I’m finally to the point where I can be honest with myself about this.

Oh...I should mention that I would like my husband to be Jalen Rose.  Just had to throw that out there lol