Monday, May 11, 2015

Watering Yourself Down


How many times have you done this? I've done it A LOT!! I'm talking about how some women water themselves down in order to either attract or keep a man.

Over the course of my YEARS OF DATING I've realized that I've watered myself down quite a few times...for the sake of not impressing a man.Yup! I said it...NOT impressing a man.

In today's society, there  are A LOT more women who are just as financially independent as there are men.  Fifty years ago, more women were full time housewives than there were career women which in turn meant that women were more financially independent on their husbands or significant others.  Bottom line is, men controlled the coins in the household.  In a huge contrast, the amount of financially independent women today have lead to a greater amount of women who own their own homes, investments, and other forms of revenue.  Now someone said to me that because of this trend, more women, particularly college educated Black women, have remained single.  And I asked why?   Their answer was that (in so many words) that men are intimidated by successful women.  I found that hard to believe, but as I thought about my friends from college...i realized that the majority of us are not married.  Interesting...
As I continued to think about this "trend" i wonder what the heck is wrong with men?? I see a lot of men saying that they want this or that, but when that person is sitting right in front of them, they run faster than Usain Bolt in the 100m finals of the Summer Olympics.  To this day I can't figure out what men want from successful, educated, single women.  About 5 years ago I was dating a man who told me that women like me didn't need men. Huh what?? I told him that he sounded like a damn fool (lol).  And I asked him to tell me what (straight) woman he knew that didn't need a man in her life? And why would he even think that successful women didn't need men? I had to break it to him that we all want a companion in our lives.  Someone to at least share things with.  He was stuck on the financial portion of the relationship.  I should mention that he's a money hungry jerk...but I won't.  He's still chasing dollars...
So back to the watering down of ourselves.  How many of you have watered yourselves down in order to keep the attention of a man?  I have.  And still do.  Sad, but true.  I don't tell men that I own my own home, or that I have 2 degrees and hopefully will be working on a 3rd.  I don't tell that I single handedly take care of my child alone financially (with the exception of my parents and close family members).  I guess that, without even realizing it, I don't want to them think that I'm too independent.  I'm cringing as I'm writing this! It's sad, but it's a reality for successful, single women.
So as I move forward in this treacherous dating life of mine, what do I do?  Serious question here! Do I continue to water myself down? Or do I 'fess up and tell everything from the rip?
Respond with your answers please? ;-)

Until next time...
Kavon