I'm the perfect wife. There's no if's, and's, or but's about it. I'm educated. I have my own home. I have my own method of transportation. I own my own business. I work full-time. My child is well cared for. I have a good personality. I'm smart. And I like sports. So the million dollar question is...why am i still single?
The joke around these parts is that all of the halfway decent Black men are either gay, in jail, or with white girls. People say that there's always some truth to humor. I digress...
I asked people, particularly men, what their criteria were for a "good/perfect wife or significant other"? A good friend of mine, Hatt Mosey, had a laundry list of things that he wanted in a mate. He offered them with a sense of humor though. That's just how Hatt is lol. He mentioned that he wanted a spunky girl with class, is educated, street smart, loves Mom and Dad, not the loudest thing in the room, knows how to be sexy without everything hanging out, healthy, artsy fartsy, and mentally attractive. There were more, but I edited his list down a bit lol. I told him that his list described me EXACTLY, but I couldn't go out with him because I had dated his cousin before. Twice. Double mistake. I digress...again.
I have a few friends who left the area and come home with husbands in the past. But why does a woman have to leave the area just to find a husband? I'll tell you why. The reality is this, Black women in this area have a greater chance of an airplane falling out the sky and landing on their houses, than they do finding a suitable husband. I know that's kind of extreme, but it's the truth. I remember talking to someone a few years ago. They asked me why i wasn't dating anyone seriously? I asked them, who was i supposed to be dating around here? And then i told them that if they can name ONE man around here for me to date, I'd date him. There was a LONG period of silence after that. By the way, I'm still waiting to hear an answer from that person.
Once someone asked me if my standards were high? Ok that's any oxymoron within itself. But I answered the question in my head. Are my standards too high? What are my requirements? Notice I say requirements and not criteria. Here's my list of REQUIREMENTS in no particular:
1. Be taller than I am. That right there eliminates 95% of the men around here.
2. Be gainfully employed. At my age, I'm tired of meeting men who are "still trying to get themselves together". Seriously, how long are you going to take? The average lifetime for a man is around 75-80 years. If you're 40+ years old, what the hell are you waiting for?? Half your life is over and you still are trying to get yourself together? I can't right now...
3. He can't have children that are younger than mine. That's a child support issue that I won't even get into right now.
4. Treat my child as if he's their own.
That's it. I'm serious. My requirements aren't much. I'd like to date a man who I can wear heels with while I'm out with him and I'd like for him to be able to buy me a damn cheeseburger if I want one. My standards are not high.
Now if you ask me what criteria I'd like to see in a man, I'd have to say that my number one is that he definitely has to have a sense of humor. Also, someone who's like me. Faithful, respectful, artsy fartsy lol, and likes sports. And since I'm a mother, he's got to be able to relate to my child and respect the relationship that we have in place already. Still not a lot.
Most of the guys who responded had the same answers...have a sense of humor, faith, be trustworthy, communicate, etc. Seems like a simple list, right? You'd think so, but it's not always true. As I read the responses, I'm thinking to myself that I know quite a few single women who have those same qualities that these single guys are saying that they want in a woman.
So again I ask, why are there so many single Black women around here? Here's my theory. When our parents' generation was in their 20's & 30's, the area was booming economically. There were plenty of jobs to go around and families were financially set. These days, that level of work is no longer an option around here. But I'd like to know where the ball got dropped in between our parent's generation and our generation in regards to the workforce? How come a lot of men around here don't work? This is a serious question and PLEASE reply with serious answers. And somehow the ball got dropped with buying the cow and getting the milk for free. But that's another blog topic.
Anyways, the "ideal" Black woman is THE single woman around here. I can't remember the last time I saw an educated, professional Black woman get engaged to be married. I can't remember that last time I saw a "good/decent" Black man get engaged to a Black woman. I've seen them get engaged to white women though. Now, this isn't about race. I'm making a point based on the notion that some Black women want to date/marry Black men. If you like to date other races, more power to you.
So does the perfect wife exist? Yeah, she does exist. It's just that she's the single woman who's being overlooked.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
A matter of opinion..standing on a soap box
Last week, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania declared that it is unconstitutional to ban gay people from being legally married to each other. Of course, the social media world went crazy! There were opinions in support of and some against the ruling. And since Pennsylvania is one of just a few states to legally recognize marriages between two women or two men, one can say that while it's not unprecedented, it's still kind of "new" in this day and age.
Ok let me say this right here and right now, I am in no way saying that I'm FOR gay marriage, and I'm not saying that I'm against gay marriage. And while some people are either strongly for it, some are strongly against it. I guess, to each his own.
While I have no personal opinion about the legalities and such, I do feel some kind of way about the negative comments being made against same sex marriage. I do believe in freedom on speech and the right to have an opinion about whatever their heart desires. But let's keep it real here. Having an opinion is like having a "you know what". Everybody has one. And while everyone has an opinion, I begin to take offense to those who act like they never committed a sin or two or three or four in their lifetime. I don't always comment on things that i see, but i do read every thing that i see. I often keep my opinions to myself out of respect to that person.
I noticed though that a lot of negative comments were being made by "Christian" folk. Now don't get me wrong here. I was born, raised, and baptized in the AME church and I will never stray away from my beliefs and the teachings of the AME Church. I believe in what the Bible says is wrong and right. I believe and respect what is "pleasing in the eyes of God". With that being said, I know that I've stumbled QUITE A FEW times. I've sinned more times than i care to admit. I've broke way too many commandments in my lifetime as well. However, I recognize that I'm not perfect and that my sins are no greater and no less than the next person's sins. I grew up believing that not one sin is greater or lesser than the other sin. A sin is a sin. Ok so my question is this. How come the "Christian" folk don't get this?
Donnie McClurkin says in his song, "A saint is a sinner who fell down and got back up". We are all sinners saved by the grace of God. And while you can have an opinion or a belief about something that the Bible says is wrong, tell me this, did you have such a strong opinion of your actions when you were breaking the Laws of God? The last time I checked, fornicating, lying, cheating, stealing, lusting, gossiping, adultery, trespassing, coveting, etc. were ALL sins listed in the Bible. I'm sure a few of you have engaged in these "accepted" sins at some point in your life, haven't you?
It's easy to stand on the proverbial soap box and "preach" about what's wrong and what's right. Just understand that everything in your life isn't pleasing in the eyes of God. It doesn't matter if you've answered the call to God, become a deacon or a stewardess, head of the choir or usher boards or whatever. You're a sinner just like everyone else on this planet. So instead of standing on that soapbox, get off of it, and move on. Again, I'm not saying that a person can't have an opinion or that they can't or shouldn't have and respect a religious belief. All I'm saying is, don't forget where you came from.
Let me end this with a quote from the Bible. You know, that book that has all the laws of God in it? "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." John 8:7
Until next time,
~Kavon
Ok let me say this right here and right now, I am in no way saying that I'm FOR gay marriage, and I'm not saying that I'm against gay marriage. And while some people are either strongly for it, some are strongly against it. I guess, to each his own.
While I have no personal opinion about the legalities and such, I do feel some kind of way about the negative comments being made against same sex marriage. I do believe in freedom on speech and the right to have an opinion about whatever their heart desires. But let's keep it real here. Having an opinion is like having a "you know what". Everybody has one. And while everyone has an opinion, I begin to take offense to those who act like they never committed a sin or two or three or four in their lifetime. I don't always comment on things that i see, but i do read every thing that i see. I often keep my opinions to myself out of respect to that person.
I noticed though that a lot of negative comments were being made by "Christian" folk. Now don't get me wrong here. I was born, raised, and baptized in the AME church and I will never stray away from my beliefs and the teachings of the AME Church. I believe in what the Bible says is wrong and right. I believe and respect what is "pleasing in the eyes of God". With that being said, I know that I've stumbled QUITE A FEW times. I've sinned more times than i care to admit. I've broke way too many commandments in my lifetime as well. However, I recognize that I'm not perfect and that my sins are no greater and no less than the next person's sins. I grew up believing that not one sin is greater or lesser than the other sin. A sin is a sin. Ok so my question is this. How come the "Christian" folk don't get this?
Donnie McClurkin says in his song, "A saint is a sinner who fell down and got back up". We are all sinners saved by the grace of God. And while you can have an opinion or a belief about something that the Bible says is wrong, tell me this, did you have such a strong opinion of your actions when you were breaking the Laws of God? The last time I checked, fornicating, lying, cheating, stealing, lusting, gossiping, adultery, trespassing, coveting, etc. were ALL sins listed in the Bible. I'm sure a few of you have engaged in these "accepted" sins at some point in your life, haven't you?
It's easy to stand on the proverbial soap box and "preach" about what's wrong and what's right. Just understand that everything in your life isn't pleasing in the eyes of God. It doesn't matter if you've answered the call to God, become a deacon or a stewardess, head of the choir or usher boards or whatever. You're a sinner just like everyone else on this planet. So instead of standing on that soapbox, get off of it, and move on. Again, I'm not saying that a person can't have an opinion or that they can't or shouldn't have and respect a religious belief. All I'm saying is, don't forget where you came from.
Let me end this with a quote from the Bible. You know, that book that has all the laws of God in it? "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." John 8:7
Until next time,
~Kavon
Sunday, May 11, 2014
The Impersonal Person
In an age of technology, there has been an over abundance of acts that have outweighed the personal-ness of our lives. Today, I received a plethora of text messages saying "Happy Mother's Day". I understand that the opportunity to send a text message to a friend or loved one is much greater than actually catching that person on the phone and having a conversation with them. I'll admit, had i received a phone call from every person that text me this morning, i would probably still be talking to people on the phone. I'm ok with receiving a text message from my friends and acquaintances because we're all busy people and it just makes more sense to get a message from them. But what happens when a person texts you or posts something on Facebook, in serious obscurity mind you, when they should be the person who calls you personally. These people are parents, special friends, or significant others. At what point should the line be drawn on the determination of The Impersonal Person? I got a text message from a guy this morning and I have to admit, i was HIGHLY offended. We're not in a relationship, but our situation merits more than an impersonal greeting. I didn't respond to his message for about 6 or 7 hours. Probably because I wasn't going to respond. I wasn't expecting any kind of gift or anything, but I sure wasn't expecting an impersonal text message. So i responded by saying that i was highly offended that, basically, he didn't think enough of me to pick up a phone and say Happy Mother's Day dog. He didn't respond. I think i made my point.
I was waiting for another well wish from someone close to me. I never heard from them, but as i was pouring through the many well wishes that i had gotten on Facebook, I saw that "well wish" buried in an obscure comment that i wasn't even tagged in. Talk about a hurt piece. Sometimes I wonder why I even care so much.
I'm writing this because we as a society have to get over the impersonal actions that we exhibit on a daily basis. I admit, I'm a texter too. My reasoning is that I'm at work and it doesn't look right to be sitting in my office talking on the my cell all day. But texting kills a relation ship. Texting will lead to all kinds of problems, with the main one being misinterpretation. How many times have people gotten into texting arguments over a misinterpretation of the tone or words texted? There's no personal tone in texting and a few words can be misinterpreted and before you know it, all heck done broke loose!
But at what point is it ok to text and not to text? Who is it ok to text and who is it ok to call? I read Steve Harvey's book a few years ago, "Act like a Lady, Think like a man". And based on what I read, clearly the writing is on the wall. If he thought enough of me, he wouldn't be that Impersonal Person and send a text message to me on a day that's set aside to celebrate motherhood. All I can say is that, I won't be having any more dealings with this guy any more.
Disclaimer: This will be the first and last time i write about a personal incident that offended me. I will continue to write about experiences and not feelings.
I was waiting for another well wish from someone close to me. I never heard from them, but as i was pouring through the many well wishes that i had gotten on Facebook, I saw that "well wish" buried in an obscure comment that i wasn't even tagged in. Talk about a hurt piece. Sometimes I wonder why I even care so much.
I'm writing this because we as a society have to get over the impersonal actions that we exhibit on a daily basis. I admit, I'm a texter too. My reasoning is that I'm at work and it doesn't look right to be sitting in my office talking on the my cell all day. But texting kills a relation ship. Texting will lead to all kinds of problems, with the main one being misinterpretation. How many times have people gotten into texting arguments over a misinterpretation of the tone or words texted? There's no personal tone in texting and a few words can be misinterpreted and before you know it, all heck done broke loose!
But at what point is it ok to text and not to text? Who is it ok to text and who is it ok to call? I read Steve Harvey's book a few years ago, "Act like a Lady, Think like a man". And based on what I read, clearly the writing is on the wall. If he thought enough of me, he wouldn't be that Impersonal Person and send a text message to me on a day that's set aside to celebrate motherhood. All I can say is that, I won't be having any more dealings with this guy any more.
Disclaimer: This will be the first and last time i write about a personal incident that offended me. I will continue to write about experiences and not feelings.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Having a relationship after the relationship?
I always hear the question, Can men and women "just be friends?". Of course i took to Facebook and asked the question, "Can men and women be "just friends" and remain platonic? I got varying answers from men and women lol. Women saying that yes they can and men saying that the "line" will probably get crossed at some point. (Duh!) I want to thank everyone who responded to my question. I got a couple of inbox responses as well. Y'all funny!!...in my Randi Hall voice lol
As I read through the responses, I got to thinking that I do have a friend who's the opposite sex and we've been friends for a LONG time. But the friendship that we have now did not develop in the traditional sense. It actually started about 25 years ago. When I was 16 years old, my cousins and I went to Kent State University to visit our sister/cousin Darci. We always went to visit her for the weekend to go to parties up there. I have to give mad props to Darci for allowing us to come visit her like that! Back to the conversation... I was 16 years old, 11th grade, and at a college party in some gym or some facility on campus. My memory eludes me right now. I don't remember much about that night, which is odd because I have a really good memory. But the one thing that i remember about that night is seeing some random guy walking around the party with a red sweatshirt and some weird looking white letters on it. He had a red and white cane and was doing, what I found out later, was called "twirling". All I know is that i could not take my eyes off him! And when he saw me, he couldn't take his eyes off me either. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about the Six Degrees of Separation Theory again. That night at the party, this guy walks right up to my other cousin, who went to another college, and just started talking to her. Come to find out, they went to the same school and knew each other. So he asks my cousin about me. Years later he told me because he thought i was so cute (i hate that word lol). My cousin shot him down QUICK ok? All i can remember hearing was my cousin saying, "She's only 16!" lmao
So fast forward 2 years. I'm a Freshman at IUP now. Eighteen years old. Still a baby and ain't even know it. I remember the first night we were in the dorms just sitting around trying to figure out what to do. It was me, three of my cousins, and another friend we had graduated high school with just a few short weeks earlier. So, in walks these two guys, one in a Black and Gold t-shirt with Greek letters and another in Red and White t-shirt with Greek letters. I thought to myself, "Clearly these guys were hoopers". Both were tall and very athletic looking. I could tell just from looking at them. Yeah, i stereotyped them lol. Ok so anyways, i said hi, he says hi, and then he sits down. Like somebody invited him, right? We all start to talk and then he says my name is "DT". I'm like huh?? I say to him, do you remember me? He looks at me for a second, and then realizes who I am. Only I'm not that 16 year old he met at Kent State a couple of years earlier. lol...I was legal now *crackin up*
Over the next few months there was a lot of waving as we walked past each other in The Grove,a few run ins at some on and off campus parties, and a lot of clandestine messages from his boys and roommates. By that time, i had already done my personal housekeeping. He just needed to do his. Eventually we let ourselves officially be a couple. We ended up dating for about a year and a half. And during that time we spent a lot of time with family. I spent some time with his mother (may she Rest In Peace) and he spent a ton of time with my family here. It was fun and we had a good time with each other. Yes, there were some bumps in the road. A LOT of bumps in the road. More than I care to remember. But that kinda went with the territory. Basketball player, fraternity guy, popular. It was what it was. Ultimately, we went our separate ways because i got fed up with his ass (lol).
Then one day out of the clear blue, YEARS later, he calls me! I mean like 10-12 years later. He said that he was cleaning out some old stuff and found my old phone number. He dialed it to see if anyone would answer. I didn't lol, but he left a message. Imagine my surprise when i heard his voice again. We talked for hours. I told him about my son, he told me about his and his daughter. This was also when he dropped that bomb on me that his mother had passed! That hurt my heart! Real bad. I had told him that my Aunt Patricia, who adored him, had passed away also. There were a lot of coulda, shoulda, woulda statements too. What if we had stayed together? What if I were his kid's mother? What if he were my son's father? How different would our lives be?
A couple years had gone by and we had talked sporadically. Nothing major really. Just the usual "How's everything going?" type of conversations. About 4 years ago he called to say that he and his son were driving through the area and wanted to know if it was ok if they stopped by? That was the beginning of our friendship. Our relationship is so much better now that it was 20 years ago. Probably because we have so much more in common now than we did back then. We both have very athletic sons and they get along like brothers.And because his son has already been through the whole college recruiting/selection process situation, i ALWAYS call him for advice regarding situations for my son when it comes to athletics. When he and his son come around, it's like a big ole happy family minus the "relationship" among the parental units lol. Our friendship is way stronger than our relationship had ever been. There is a mutual respect for each other and there's no proverbial line to NOT cross because we've already been down that road. And because of the past relationship, I think this is what makes our friendship stronger than most. "DT" is the first man that I ever loved and the first man that I ever felt love from (other than my dad). He introduced me to different things that I probably wouldn't have given the time of day to if it he hadn't been in my life. I used to HATE riding around in his car listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers (lmbo) but to this very day, I love that band! I had a flashback when they performed at the halftime show for this year's Superbowl. He always told me how smart I was and that I inspired him because whenever he came to my dorm room, I was always studying. That was a front, by the way. My books were always open, but I didn't study as much as I should have. By Spring semester of my Freshman year, I was spending WAY too much time at the Alpha house. We used to kick it hard at the house too lol. Whenever I and one of my cousins hears the word "beverage" we crack up laughing because he used that word often.
Some people say that men and women can't be friends. Some say they CAN be friends. I'm still on the fence about that. I haven't met a guy yet who wanted to "just be friends". My personal experience is that there's always a slight motive for the friendship. That's just natural human emotions. "DT" loves me and I love him, but it's a different kind of love now. It's a "friend til the end" type of love. So even though the progression of our friendship could be considered [very] nontraditional, we embrace it wholeheartedly. We're thankful and grateful for our friendship and how it's blossomed over the years. We have a relationship AFTER the relationship.
...i can just hear Mossie saying, Yeah right! lol
As I read through the responses, I got to thinking that I do have a friend who's the opposite sex and we've been friends for a LONG time. But the friendship that we have now did not develop in the traditional sense. It actually started about 25 years ago. When I was 16 years old, my cousins and I went to Kent State University to visit our sister/cousin Darci. We always went to visit her for the weekend to go to parties up there. I have to give mad props to Darci for allowing us to come visit her like that! Back to the conversation... I was 16 years old, 11th grade, and at a college party in some gym or some facility on campus. My memory eludes me right now. I don't remember much about that night, which is odd because I have a really good memory. But the one thing that i remember about that night is seeing some random guy walking around the party with a red sweatshirt and some weird looking white letters on it. He had a red and white cane and was doing, what I found out later, was called "twirling". All I know is that i could not take my eyes off him! And when he saw me, he couldn't take his eyes off me either. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about the Six Degrees of Separation Theory again. That night at the party, this guy walks right up to my other cousin, who went to another college, and just started talking to her. Come to find out, they went to the same school and knew each other. So he asks my cousin about me. Years later he told me because he thought i was so cute (i hate that word lol). My cousin shot him down QUICK ok? All i can remember hearing was my cousin saying, "She's only 16!" lmao
So fast forward 2 years. I'm a Freshman at IUP now. Eighteen years old. Still a baby and ain't even know it. I remember the first night we were in the dorms just sitting around trying to figure out what to do. It was me, three of my cousins, and another friend we had graduated high school with just a few short weeks earlier. So, in walks these two guys, one in a Black and Gold t-shirt with Greek letters and another in Red and White t-shirt with Greek letters. I thought to myself, "Clearly these guys were hoopers". Both were tall and very athletic looking. I could tell just from looking at them. Yeah, i stereotyped them lol. Ok so anyways, i said hi, he says hi, and then he sits down. Like somebody invited him, right? We all start to talk and then he says my name is "DT". I'm like huh?? I say to him, do you remember me? He looks at me for a second, and then realizes who I am. Only I'm not that 16 year old he met at Kent State a couple of years earlier. lol...I was legal now *crackin up*
Over the next few months there was a lot of waving as we walked past each other in The Grove,a few run ins at some on and off campus parties, and a lot of clandestine messages from his boys and roommates. By that time, i had already done my personal housekeeping. He just needed to do his. Eventually we let ourselves officially be a couple. We ended up dating for about a year and a half. And during that time we spent a lot of time with family. I spent some time with his mother (may she Rest In Peace) and he spent a ton of time with my family here. It was fun and we had a good time with each other. Yes, there were some bumps in the road. A LOT of bumps in the road. More than I care to remember. But that kinda went with the territory. Basketball player, fraternity guy, popular. It was what it was. Ultimately, we went our separate ways because i got fed up with his ass (lol).
Then one day out of the clear blue, YEARS later, he calls me! I mean like 10-12 years later. He said that he was cleaning out some old stuff and found my old phone number. He dialed it to see if anyone would answer. I didn't lol, but he left a message. Imagine my surprise when i heard his voice again. We talked for hours. I told him about my son, he told me about his and his daughter. This was also when he dropped that bomb on me that his mother had passed! That hurt my heart! Real bad. I had told him that my Aunt Patricia, who adored him, had passed away also. There were a lot of coulda, shoulda, woulda statements too. What if we had stayed together? What if I were his kid's mother? What if he were my son's father? How different would our lives be?
A couple years had gone by and we had talked sporadically. Nothing major really. Just the usual "How's everything going?" type of conversations. About 4 years ago he called to say that he and his son were driving through the area and wanted to know if it was ok if they stopped by? That was the beginning of our friendship. Our relationship is so much better now that it was 20 years ago. Probably because we have so much more in common now than we did back then. We both have very athletic sons and they get along like brothers.And because his son has already been through the whole college recruiting/selection process situation, i ALWAYS call him for advice regarding situations for my son when it comes to athletics. When he and his son come around, it's like a big ole happy family minus the "relationship" among the parental units lol. Our friendship is way stronger than our relationship had ever been. There is a mutual respect for each other and there's no proverbial line to NOT cross because we've already been down that road. And because of the past relationship, I think this is what makes our friendship stronger than most. "DT" is the first man that I ever loved and the first man that I ever felt love from (other than my dad). He introduced me to different things that I probably wouldn't have given the time of day to if it he hadn't been in my life. I used to HATE riding around in his car listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers (lmbo) but to this very day, I love that band! I had a flashback when they performed at the halftime show for this year's Superbowl. He always told me how smart I was and that I inspired him because whenever he came to my dorm room, I was always studying. That was a front, by the way. My books were always open, but I didn't study as much as I should have. By Spring semester of my Freshman year, I was spending WAY too much time at the Alpha house. We used to kick it hard at the house too lol. Whenever I and one of my cousins hears the word "beverage" we crack up laughing because he used that word often.
Some people say that men and women can't be friends. Some say they CAN be friends. I'm still on the fence about that. I haven't met a guy yet who wanted to "just be friends". My personal experience is that there's always a slight motive for the friendship. That's just natural human emotions. "DT" loves me and I love him, but it's a different kind of love now. It's a "friend til the end" type of love. So even though the progression of our friendship could be considered [very] nontraditional, we embrace it wholeheartedly. We're thankful and grateful for our friendship and how it's blossomed over the years. We have a relationship AFTER the relationship.
...i can just hear Mossie saying, Yeah right! lol
Friday, April 25, 2014
Background Checks on potential mates??
DVC (he knows who he is) mentioned on FB the other day that it's a good idea to do some kind of background check on a potential mate. I agreed, some else didn't. No big deal. That's the law of averages. Everyone is not going to agree with everything that everyone says. I do want to mention that one person, who's married likened it to snooping, while those who aren't married was all for it. Since i'm a numbers person and social researcher, i thought maybe i'd ask some people if they were down for checking potential suitors out?
Let's be clear about background checks and the definition of such. In my mind, when i hear background searches, etc., i'm thinking Googling, taking a peak at his FB, or something that takes just a few minutes and costs no money. I don't see it as "snooping" so to speak. I see it as finding out what you might be getting involved with.
When I was in college, there wasn't a Google or FB or other types of social media. It's amazing how much things have changed since the early 90's. Back then, all we had was word of mouth. If you asked someone about someone else, you'd get all kinds of different answers about that person. Just like we do now. Human perception is still very subjective and always will be. Back then though, a person could hide their past. They could have a completely different life somewhere else and no one would ever know about it. These days, you can't hide from no damn body. Somebody is always posting a pic of you, your friends, family, etc. and tagging you in it. And while we're on the subject of tagging...i HATE when people tag me in a pic that is NOT of me. If you want me to see a pic of something or someone, just tell me to look at it. When you get tagged in a pic, all the dang comments come to your notifications/email and you're sitting there wondering who the heck is such and such that just commented on some picture that i didn't even tag?? Can't stand that. Anyways, back to what i was saying. No Google, FB, IG or Twitter meant that there was a relatively obscure knowledge of anything that anyone didn't want you to know. Somebody who lived in a certain part of a city could be dating other people in different parts of the city and chances are, no one would know about it (for a while at least).
Earlier this week, I sent out a text message to some of my friends asking them, "Question? If you started dating someone that you didn't know, would you do some kind of background check on them? If so, a formal one or just a Google search?" My goodness! I got some good responses! What caught my interest was the differences among men and women. I was expecting more women than men to say Yes they would do some kind of checking. I was WAY wrong! A lot of the women responded saying that they would do one, but after a certain amount of time elapsed. A lot of the men responded that they would indeed do some kind of check before even going out with a woman. Interesting...
So does this mean that women are more accepting of a potential mate's flaws than men are? Is it men who are superficial? Or are women more gullible? Unfortunately, I can't answer that question. For me personally, I'd definitely consider doing Google searches on any man that I meet. Not because of the "nosy" factor, but because I have a son and I'm not taking any chances on potentially dating anyone who's a child molester, pedophile, etc. There's a protection factor that single moms MUST consider when entertaining offers of dates and stuff from potential suitors. It's better to be more careful, then regretful. I will admit that one time i didn't Google a man that asked me out last year. Only because my older cousin knew him and vouched for him. That was good enough for me. We went out a couple of times, but the distance factor eventually got the best of the situation. So yesterday i decided to Google him. All i can say is that i wish i had done that last year. I was pleasantly surprised! So I texted "TL" to basically let him know that all the while we went out, i had absolutely no idea who he was (lol). And then that made me think of the flip side of things. Would i prefer the element of surprise or just knowing someone's background BEFORE i went out with him? I'm still on the fence about that one. I jokingly told "TL" that had I known who he was before i went out with him, i probably would have never gone out with him in the first place. I don't date athletes anymore.
So back to these background checks and such. My cousin in Vegas who's like my brother, we are on the same page as far as checking in on potential suitors. We both said to play it safe from the very beginning. A couple other friends of mine says that she would wait a few months, then check. Another friend asked me what would i be looking for if i did a check? Marcus, who's more than a friend, but not a "boyfriend", gave me an interesting response. "The bottom line is you can't trust a background check. That shows past history and can't guarantee future behavior. You're still taking a chance." He continues, "Even in the stock market they use the disclaimer that past performance doesn't guarantee future performance." That about sums it up.
So at the end of the day, the question remains. Is it ok to do a background check/Google search, or should you just go with the flow? In doing a background check, are we looking to hold people's past behaviors against them? I guess it all depends on the situation. A good friend of mine, who's also a single mother with a son, seems to be on the same page as i am. It's better to be safe, than sorry. Again, every situation is different, but whatever position you choose to take, i hope that in the end, you're happy with your decision.
Until next time,
~Kavon
Let's be clear about background checks and the definition of such. In my mind, when i hear background searches, etc., i'm thinking Googling, taking a peak at his FB, or something that takes just a few minutes and costs no money. I don't see it as "snooping" so to speak. I see it as finding out what you might be getting involved with.
When I was in college, there wasn't a Google or FB or other types of social media. It's amazing how much things have changed since the early 90's. Back then, all we had was word of mouth. If you asked someone about someone else, you'd get all kinds of different answers about that person. Just like we do now. Human perception is still very subjective and always will be. Back then though, a person could hide their past. They could have a completely different life somewhere else and no one would ever know about it. These days, you can't hide from no damn body. Somebody is always posting a pic of you, your friends, family, etc. and tagging you in it. And while we're on the subject of tagging...i HATE when people tag me in a pic that is NOT of me. If you want me to see a pic of something or someone, just tell me to look at it. When you get tagged in a pic, all the dang comments come to your notifications/email and you're sitting there wondering who the heck is such and such that just commented on some picture that i didn't even tag?? Can't stand that. Anyways, back to what i was saying. No Google, FB, IG or Twitter meant that there was a relatively obscure knowledge of anything that anyone didn't want you to know. Somebody who lived in a certain part of a city could be dating other people in different parts of the city and chances are, no one would know about it (for a while at least).
Earlier this week, I sent out a text message to some of my friends asking them, "Question? If you started dating someone that you didn't know, would you do some kind of background check on them? If so, a formal one or just a Google search?" My goodness! I got some good responses! What caught my interest was the differences among men and women. I was expecting more women than men to say Yes they would do some kind of checking. I was WAY wrong! A lot of the women responded saying that they would do one, but after a certain amount of time elapsed. A lot of the men responded that they would indeed do some kind of check before even going out with a woman. Interesting...
So does this mean that women are more accepting of a potential mate's flaws than men are? Is it men who are superficial? Or are women more gullible? Unfortunately, I can't answer that question. For me personally, I'd definitely consider doing Google searches on any man that I meet. Not because of the "nosy" factor, but because I have a son and I'm not taking any chances on potentially dating anyone who's a child molester, pedophile, etc. There's a protection factor that single moms MUST consider when entertaining offers of dates and stuff from potential suitors. It's better to be more careful, then regretful. I will admit that one time i didn't Google a man that asked me out last year. Only because my older cousin knew him and vouched for him. That was good enough for me. We went out a couple of times, but the distance factor eventually got the best of the situation. So yesterday i decided to Google him. All i can say is that i wish i had done that last year. I was pleasantly surprised! So I texted "TL" to basically let him know that all the while we went out, i had absolutely no idea who he was (lol). And then that made me think of the flip side of things. Would i prefer the element of surprise or just knowing someone's background BEFORE i went out with him? I'm still on the fence about that one. I jokingly told "TL" that had I known who he was before i went out with him, i probably would have never gone out with him in the first place. I don't date athletes anymore.
So back to these background checks and such. My cousin in Vegas who's like my brother, we are on the same page as far as checking in on potential suitors. We both said to play it safe from the very beginning. A couple other friends of mine says that she would wait a few months, then check. Another friend asked me what would i be looking for if i did a check? Marcus, who's more than a friend, but not a "boyfriend", gave me an interesting response. "The bottom line is you can't trust a background check. That shows past history and can't guarantee future behavior. You're still taking a chance." He continues, "Even in the stock market they use the disclaimer that past performance doesn't guarantee future performance." That about sums it up.
So at the end of the day, the question remains. Is it ok to do a background check/Google search, or should you just go with the flow? In doing a background check, are we looking to hold people's past behaviors against them? I guess it all depends on the situation. A good friend of mine, who's also a single mother with a son, seems to be on the same page as i am. It's better to be safe, than sorry. Again, every situation is different, but whatever position you choose to take, i hope that in the end, you're happy with your decision.
Until next time,
~Kavon
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Of Height and Men...random thoughts
Tall chicks got it bad. Everybody says that they wish they were tall, but nobody really wants to live the life that a tall chick does. We catch heck from every angle. Now don't get me wrong. I appreciate the 5'10" that the good Lord blessed me with. Even if it IS biologically mind boggling. I have short parents. And at 5'10", i'm considered to be a short, tall girl.Yes, there are variations of tallness people. But most people want to be tall because they can't reach the box of Cheerios way in the back on the top shelf of the highest cabinet in the kitchen. Hate to break it to you, but that's not a reason to ever want to be tall. That's only a temporary fix to a temporary problem lol.
So, i'm sitting here thinking about issues that tall chicks have to deal with on a regular. My list will get longer i'm sure, but here's a few things just off the top of my mind.
#1 Clothes! Why can't i buy one pair of pants (not jeans) at Shenango Valley Mall? JCPenney "claims" to carry tall clothes, but you have to order them and wait for them to come in and then see if they fit right. Because God forbid that a manufacturer makes the exact pants in the same style and fit. Seems too much like right. But nope! I can only hope that the same style and size pants fit the same. I once bought pants from JCP; same style and size, but different colors. One fit great, the other was a nightmare. And sleeves! Do i dare mention sleeve issues? ...i'm getting a little ticked off as we speak lol! The store down the hall from JCP sells tall jeans in their store. Sad that I can only buy jeans in ONE store in the entire mall. And yes, I have every pair they offer. They're only 4 styles.
#2 Short guys! Why are short men inclined to think that every tall chick will take them seriously? No disrespect to the vertically challenged cats out there, but they're not my cup of tea. I'm a tall girl who likes to wear heels. I don't want to be walking around with Arnold Jackson at my side. With that being said, the next short dude that tries to holler at me is getting body-slammed on sight.
#3 The old(er) lady in the grocery store. You know her. The one who always wants you to get the bottle of whatever off the shelf for her because, as she puts it, "You're nice and tall". B*llsh*t lady! You're lucky my mom taught me to respect my elders. But really, that's getting real old to me.
#4 Stereotypes. All tall people do not/did not hoop! I hated basketball. I like to watch it, but i never liked playing it. And i never did play it. Too much contact for me. I liked volleyball because i didn't have to worry about guarding or letting some sweaty person get that close to me. I guess I'm kind of a germaphobe. Truth be told, i'd rather been a Golden Girl (dance line in the band) or something like that in high school.
I'm a short girl trapped in a tall girl's body. I have no biological reason to be tall. Besides my cousin's daughters and my son, I'm the only tall person in my family. But my cousin's kids are supposed to be tall. Their father is 7'1" tall. I'm glad that i have some Twitter friends who are tall and we can compare notes and shopping sites. Although I've never met any one of them personally, they are a great bunch of girls to bond with. I look forward to one day meeting them in person. ...then I can be the short girl of the group :-)
So, i'm sitting here thinking about issues that tall chicks have to deal with on a regular. My list will get longer i'm sure, but here's a few things just off the top of my mind.
#1 Clothes! Why can't i buy one pair of pants (not jeans) at Shenango Valley Mall? JCPenney "claims" to carry tall clothes, but you have to order them and wait for them to come in and then see if they fit right. Because God forbid that a manufacturer makes the exact pants in the same style and fit. Seems too much like right. But nope! I can only hope that the same style and size pants fit the same. I once bought pants from JCP; same style and size, but different colors. One fit great, the other was a nightmare. And sleeves! Do i dare mention sleeve issues? ...i'm getting a little ticked off as we speak lol! The store down the hall from JCP sells tall jeans in their store. Sad that I can only buy jeans in ONE store in the entire mall. And yes, I have every pair they offer. They're only 4 styles.
#2 Short guys! Why are short men inclined to think that every tall chick will take them seriously? No disrespect to the vertically challenged cats out there, but they're not my cup of tea. I'm a tall girl who likes to wear heels. I don't want to be walking around with Arnold Jackson at my side. With that being said, the next short dude that tries to holler at me is getting body-slammed on sight.
#3 The old(er) lady in the grocery store. You know her. The one who always wants you to get the bottle of whatever off the shelf for her because, as she puts it, "You're nice and tall". B*llsh*t lady! You're lucky my mom taught me to respect my elders. But really, that's getting real old to me.
#4 Stereotypes. All tall people do not/did not hoop! I hated basketball. I like to watch it, but i never liked playing it. And i never did play it. Too much contact for me. I liked volleyball because i didn't have to worry about guarding or letting some sweaty person get that close to me. I guess I'm kind of a germaphobe. Truth be told, i'd rather been a Golden Girl (dance line in the band) or something like that in high school.
I'm a short girl trapped in a tall girl's body. I have no biological reason to be tall. Besides my cousin's daughters and my son, I'm the only tall person in my family. But my cousin's kids are supposed to be tall. Their father is 7'1" tall. I'm glad that i have some Twitter friends who are tall and we can compare notes and shopping sites. Although I've never met any one of them personally, they are a great bunch of girls to bond with. I look forward to one day meeting them in person. ...then I can be the short girl of the group :-)
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
The Friendship Factor
This is my first attempt at "putting myself out there" so to speak in regards to relationships. I usually don't talk much about the happenings of what goes on in my social life so here goes...
I'm a marriage magnet. Interesting because I've never been married. And I've never been "officially" asked either. But still, I'm a marriage magnet. (I'm crackin up as I'm writing this!) The reason why I'm a marriage magnet is because the last few guys that I've recently dated or went out with are all either (now) married or engaged to be married. Yup. My last count is 4, I think. In the past year alone.
Back in my early 20's or so, I remember telling one of my Aunts that I didn't want to get married. She was appalled! It didn't bother me one bit actually. And now that I'm in my early 40's, i still feel the [almost] same way, but for different reasons. Now, I'm still on the fence about marriage because I haven't met that one man that made me go crazy like that. No one who i feel like i could do the "Until death do us part" dance with. Ok let me say right here that I'm not a picky person and my expectations are not high. In fact, now that i think about it, they might be too low. And judging from the bunch of liars and cheaters that I've dated, i'm going to say that yeah, my standards are too low. Anyways, where was I? On the fence about marriage at 41 years old. I am. I admit it. No shame to my game. Do i believe in love? Of course! I just haven't found love with the right man...yet. Or maybe i have? My lips are sealed!
So that got me to thinking about MY role in the Friendship Factor. People who are close to me knows that I'm not much of a relationship type of girl. Relationships are way too stressful for me. Sometimes i just don't have it in me to deal with ups and downs of relationships. I don't have to answer to anyone, and no one has to answer to me. And most importantly, I don't have to be bothered with a man if i don't want to be! I've had this mindset since my late 20's/early 30's and it's worked out pretty well for me. There were a few times when I went against my beliefs and let myself get into a relationship. It blew up in my face every time. There were babies on the side, other women/girls on the side, abuse, and a whole lot of lying! By the way, I can't stand liars. I really can't. I don't see the need to lie about stuff. Especially at my/our age. Seriously, at what point in your life will you realize that lying gets you absolutely no where? I always tell guys that I meet/date that I'll deal with the situation a little better if I hear the truth from his mouth. If i hear things out in the streets, they'll have to deal with Bessie, not Kavon. And those are 2 different people! ...I'm still crackin up.
Ok, so it's safe to assume that I don't do relationships because I don't have the patience to tolerate the nonsense that comes with them. So how does the Friendship Factor fit into all of this? Well, problem #1 is that I (unintentionally) designate myself to be the friend because I rarely ever want a serious relationship. I mostly deal with guys who don't live in the area and it's hard to have a serious relationship when it's long distance. Long distance "relationships" is not a preference. It's just how things work out. Truth be told, the real reason why i don't go out with guys in the area is because i have three immediate families (Wrights, Smiths, & Stewarts) and mostly everybody in this area are my cousins lol.
Problem #2 is that my "caring" side always gets the best of me. Yeah, I'm the one who guys can call and talk about their issues with other women. Shouldn't be an issue, right? After all, i am JUST the friend. And Problem #3 is my go to statement of "You ain't my man, and I ain't your woman. You don't have to answer to me, and I don't have to answer to you." ...SMH
So now that I've likened myself to Biz Markie and painted myself into the "Just a Friend" box, I'm having different thoughts about it. I realize that in the past year, I've talked 3 exes into marriage or the thought of marriage, and it wasn't with me lol! And the other one, well that woman can have him. And yeah, I'm feeling some kinda way about this right here. But I can only hold myself accountable for the situation(s). After much self-reflection, I now have a new outlook on relationships and my approach towards them. Listen up fellas because I'm talking to you all. #1. I don't give a flying F*CK about what your ex girlfriend said or did, or didn't say or didn't do. Don't call me with that chitter chatter wanting to bump your gums about how you want to be with a chick who, clearly, doesn't want to be with you. Steve Harvey once said that men are natural hunters. Conversely, women are nurturers. Men hunt their prey, even when the prey is running full speed ahead away from them. Their goal is to catch it, and make it theirs even though the prey is running away from them. Does that make sense? #2. It's like that old Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote situation. Urban myth has it that the coyote actually did catch the Road Runner. And when he got him, he didn't know what to do with him. So he let him go. Guys spend a lot of time chasing women. They will do a lot to woo you and get you to become interested in them. And when you do, they don't know what to do with you, and then all of a sudden he's gone. Been there, done that! I refuse to be anyone's Road Runner any more. If you're not interested in the outcome, then don't go through the motions. #3. If you have a woman, lady friend, girlfriend, or whatever you call her, do not step to me. The other day, someone asked me why don't women ask men if they have a woman or not when they first meet? My answer was simple. It's because women are naive enough to think that if a man is trying to holler at her, he must not have a woman in his life. Else why would he try to start something up with another female when he has one at home? Common sense, right? Well men aren't common creatures. So right here and right now guys, do me a favor and save my breath. The breath that i'll be using to ask if you have a significant other in your life when you approach me. If you do, keep on walking, 'cause i ain't talking. Point, blank, and the period! (in my Tamar voice).
And yes, it appears that I'm changing my mindset as i progress through writing this. I'm a woman and I can do as i please! ;-) *crackin up again* But on the real, I had a chance to talk to a good friend of mine who came into town this past weekend. We've been friends for nearly 20 years so we talk about anything with each other. Our conversation lead us to both discover that we are marriage magnets. It's happened to him too. A few times. Neither one of us could figure out why until we had this particular conversation. It's the label that we put on ourselves that did us in. So from now on, and my cousin J will be happy to hear this, i'm no longer putting the "Friend" label on myself. Am I opening myself up for the possibility of a relationship? God only knows what he has in store for me. But in the meantime, I'm chillin.
Until next time,
Kavon
Friday, March 21, 2014
Six degrees of separation...NO not the movie!
As I sit here thinking about the different places that I will visit within the next 2-3 months, I realized that i have friends and acquaintances in every city that i visit. And these people usually know someone else in my life. That made think about the theory of Six Degrees of Separation.
I remember (waayyy) back in college when i use to watch the Real World on MTV religiously. I can't remember what season it was, but there was an instance where one of the cast members was reading the newspaper and announced that they (the police) had caught the Unibomber. Then another cast member said that she knew who he was! Her friend went the university where the Unibomber had taught and was actually in his class. Yeah...hilarious! lol! But then one of them mentioned the theory of Six Degrees of Separation. Being that I was a Sociology major at the time, the theory fascinated me. I wanted to learn more about it and explore my connections.
OK so what is Six Degrees of Separation you ask? Wikipedia says that Six degrees of separation is the theory that everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world, so that a chain of "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps. Basically, the theory says that every person in this WORLD can somehow be connected to each other within 6 people are less. I often joke around and say that there's no such thing as Six Degrees of Separation in the City of Farrell. It's more 2 or 3 because almost everyone is related in some kinda way. But I digress...
So last night, I had the opportunity to attend the Duquesne University Unity Banquet in the university Ballroom. It was a wonderful event that honored students at the university. I'm glad that I high-tailed it down the turnpike and made it there by 6:30...it started at 5 lol. I'm a little mad because I missed the cocktail hour...translation: no wine in my hand that night. While I'm thinking about it, I have to give a shout out to Dr. Rahmon Hart. I had the opportunity to speak with a few students last night and they all talked about how much Dr. Hart and Ms. Amber, his assistant, was an influence on them. Back to what I was saying... the speaker for the evening was none other than Lamman Rucker. You all know him better as Sheriff Troy from the "Why Did I get Married" movies. First of all, I never knew Lamman was from Pittsburgh, went to Duquesne U., and grew up on the Hill District. Small world. So as he's talking...and man can he bump his gums (lol)...I begin to think about that ole Six Degrees of Separation theory again. Here's this guy, who's been on TV and movies countless times and I never knew that we had a connection. How could I know? I live in a small town in western Pennsylvania and he's a Hollywood actor. My connection to Lamman is Dr. Hart. I later found out that evening that I had yet another immediate connection to Lamman through Eddie Benton, my sister's former college basketball coach, with whom I had the opportunity to speak with briefly after the ceremony was over. So in less than two hours, I found out that I had two connections to Lamman Rucker and they are both within just one person. I should also mention that I was standing in line to speak to Lamman and I started talking with some D.U. students. And come to find out that one of them is in an R.A. class with my god daughter Bria who attends Duquesne. ...Six Degrees of Separation ...again!
I told my friend Lisa that my next blog would be about this theory. She asked me to explain it to her. So I gave her an example. I told her that she has a connection to Michael Jordan, through me and my sister. She kinda looked puzzled (lol) so I explained my statement to her. Our cousin was married to an NBA player who was drafted to the Chicago Bulls. He played on a championship team with Michael Jordan. The degree of separation for her and Michael Jordan is 4. I get that OOOOH! look from her with a smile ;-)
So my reason for writing this blog is not to talk about Michael Jordan or how FINE Lamman Rucker is in person (TV/Movies do him absolutely no justice! AND he's tall! AND smart!)...i see a crush forming here lol! My reason for the blog is to pose a question. If everyone in this world can be connected by 6 people or less, can you imagine how much different this world would be if we actually reached out to one another? Imagine if we acted and actually connected with people? The amount of information sharing and knowledge gained would be colossal. Could it be possible that somewhere on this planet, through a connection, lies a cure for cancer or HIV/AIDS? A solution to poverty or social discrepancies? Or possibly build a society where there's PEACE among everyone? I pose these questions to hopefully give someone the slight push to begin to explore the connections they have and use those connections for the better good. If that doesn't interest you, just try it for pure fun and entertainment. I guarantee you'll uncover something and someone that you would have never imagined.
Until next time,
Kavon
.....me and Lamman
I remember (waayyy) back in college when i use to watch the Real World on MTV religiously. I can't remember what season it was, but there was an instance where one of the cast members was reading the newspaper and announced that they (the police) had caught the Unibomber. Then another cast member said that she knew who he was! Her friend went the university where the Unibomber had taught and was actually in his class. Yeah...hilarious! lol! But then one of them mentioned the theory of Six Degrees of Separation. Being that I was a Sociology major at the time, the theory fascinated me. I wanted to learn more about it and explore my connections.
OK so what is Six Degrees of Separation you ask? Wikipedia says that Six degrees of separation is the theory that everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world, so that a chain of "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps. Basically, the theory says that every person in this WORLD can somehow be connected to each other within 6 people are less. I often joke around and say that there's no such thing as Six Degrees of Separation in the City of Farrell. It's more 2 or 3 because almost everyone is related in some kinda way. But I digress...
So last night, I had the opportunity to attend the Duquesne University Unity Banquet in the university Ballroom. It was a wonderful event that honored students at the university. I'm glad that I high-tailed it down the turnpike and made it there by 6:30...it started at 5 lol. I'm a little mad because I missed the cocktail hour...translation: no wine in my hand that night. While I'm thinking about it, I have to give a shout out to Dr. Rahmon Hart. I had the opportunity to speak with a few students last night and they all talked about how much Dr. Hart and Ms. Amber, his assistant, was an influence on them. Back to what I was saying... the speaker for the evening was none other than Lamman Rucker. You all know him better as Sheriff Troy from the "Why Did I get Married" movies. First of all, I never knew Lamman was from Pittsburgh, went to Duquesne U., and grew up on the Hill District. Small world. So as he's talking...and man can he bump his gums (lol)...I begin to think about that ole Six Degrees of Separation theory again. Here's this guy, who's been on TV and movies countless times and I never knew that we had a connection. How could I know? I live in a small town in western Pennsylvania and he's a Hollywood actor. My connection to Lamman is Dr. Hart. I later found out that evening that I had yet another immediate connection to Lamman through Eddie Benton, my sister's former college basketball coach, with whom I had the opportunity to speak with briefly after the ceremony was over. So in less than two hours, I found out that I had two connections to Lamman Rucker and they are both within just one person. I should also mention that I was standing in line to speak to Lamman and I started talking with some D.U. students. And come to find out that one of them is in an R.A. class with my god daughter Bria who attends Duquesne. ...Six Degrees of Separation ...again!
I told my friend Lisa that my next blog would be about this theory. She asked me to explain it to her. So I gave her an example. I told her that she has a connection to Michael Jordan, through me and my sister. She kinda looked puzzled (lol) so I explained my statement to her. Our cousin was married to an NBA player who was drafted to the Chicago Bulls. He played on a championship team with Michael Jordan. The degree of separation for her and Michael Jordan is 4. I get that OOOOH! look from her with a smile ;-)
So my reason for writing this blog is not to talk about Michael Jordan or how FINE Lamman Rucker is in person (TV/Movies do him absolutely no justice! AND he's tall! AND smart!)...i see a crush forming here lol! My reason for the blog is to pose a question. If everyone in this world can be connected by 6 people or less, can you imagine how much different this world would be if we actually reached out to one another? Imagine if we acted and actually connected with people? The amount of information sharing and knowledge gained would be colossal. Could it be possible that somewhere on this planet, through a connection, lies a cure for cancer or HIV/AIDS? A solution to poverty or social discrepancies? Or possibly build a society where there's PEACE among everyone? I pose these questions to hopefully give someone the slight push to begin to explore the connections they have and use those connections for the better good. If that doesn't interest you, just try it for pure fun and entertainment. I guarantee you'll uncover something and someone that you would have never imagined.
Until next time,
Kavon
.....me and Lamman
Friday, March 14, 2014
Introduction
Thanks to everyone who made suggestions as to what to call my Blog. I've decided on InTheWrightStateofMind. This Blog will be random thoughts that i have. Usually, I just sit and think about things that are going on, especially in my community and my life, style, and culture. I guarantee you these posts will be random, as my life is a whirlwind. At any given time, I'll be in a gymnasium for regular season or AAU basketball, on a football field, in my kitchen baking or making something, or just sitting around laughing and talking with my family and friends. My acquaintances will be my inspiration. My experiences throughout my life will also play a big role in what i write.
I hope that i will be able to keep your attention and keep you all interested in the Wright State of Mind.
Also, let me give a disclaimer now...actually a couple...1. I don't like using capital letters, so don't even go in sideways on me when you see this! 2. Nothing i write is a personal attack on any one, it's just an opinion. MY opinion. You can agree or disagree. It's all good! 3. If i DO offend anyone, charge it to my heart and not my mind, and 4. Stop going around saying that Bessie don't care what she say. I actually do care what i say, it's just that my delivery is often "off" and my good intentions are taken the wrong way. :-)
I hope that i will be able to keep your attention and keep you all interested in the Wright State of Mind.
Also, let me give a disclaimer now...actually a couple...1. I don't like using capital letters, so don't even go in sideways on me when you see this! 2. Nothing i write is a personal attack on any one, it's just an opinion. MY opinion. You can agree or disagree. It's all good! 3. If i DO offend anyone, charge it to my heart and not my mind, and 4. Stop going around saying that Bessie don't care what she say. I actually do care what i say, it's just that my delivery is often "off" and my good intentions are taken the wrong way. :-)
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